Chapter 6: New Beginnings
Dear Grace, It's November and around this time your Mum becomes rather reflective. I have just enjoyed 14 days without you my baby, and I didn enjoy them. I don't feel guilty about that, I need to be alone with my thoughts sometime. I need moments to recalibrate. The last 2 years have been the most challenging of my life. I feel regret about that. Mostly that you did'nt get the best of me. I am ready for this to change. I found this quote that made me feel clarity. “Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.” – Daphne Rose Kingma There is so much about letting go of my past that makes me feel torn, sad, and guilty. Your feelings are the ones I care about the most. Will letting go of the past be letting go of your childhood in some way? Will letting go of your Dad result in bad feelings for you now or later? But, I can't hold on to the past any longer. I need to let go, or else I won't be the Mum you deserve.